Photo by Lindsay Henwood on Unsplash
After accepting the fact that I might have to extend one more semester and venting out yesterday, I feel a lot better and I am able to progress.
While I hesitated with some parts of the finances, I have decided to splurge on Dissertation Mentor by Dr Guy E. White. I stumbled on his videos on youtube and I liked it a lot, but it was the surface level explanations. I have decided to bite the bullet and paid USD47 for the course. It doesn’t help that Malaysian Ringgit is not great but since I am struggling in my writing. I have read up about how to get over writing blocks and how to synthesize information. What makes it harder is while my supervisors are helpful, but there seems a part that I don’t understand though they have explained many times. Worse still, I am still honing my search skills. Something about my keywords just did not work out.
Anyway, I have less than three months to go, and I have decided to just pay USD47. If I do submit on time, then it will be great, but if I don’t, I have gained research skills.
At first I wonder how different are his paid courses compared to the free ones on youtube, and the paid one was more comprehensive as he said the process of researching in detail. Not only that, he actually answer very specifically to the purpose statement that the students have written. In my own words, I would say he teaches the students to hack the way we search.
Most people do not know how to move on in their search after getting a purpose statement. Yes, we can search on the general, but at the same time, there is always a gap somewhere. While there are supervisors/lecturers to guide, but some would have given general instructions. Maybe I am not smart enough to take the general instructions and implement into my work hence taking Dr Guy’s course helped when it target the specifics.
I know what I am saying sounds like a judging statement (as my husbands always tell me not to), but I do feel stupid. Why some people I know can follow tips and tricks online and it works for them. Sometimes well-meaning people do tell me, “Why not you search on Google?”
Maybe, it’s take more searches for me to find something that work for me?
Anyway, grieving and accepting my realities of not graduating on time helped. I am still not happy that I might have to extend one more semester, but I have taken steps to rectify my problems. Not cheap and maybe “too late”, but I tell myself, better late than never. Better find out of my flaws whenever and then work on it, instead of wondering why I was so stupid not to understand or see it last time.
p.s. I know you will tell me that I shouldn’t say myself stupid. I know, but I am just expressing my feelings.