Photo by Claude Piché on Unsplash
My daily battle everyday is dealing with my emotions. I used to hide them but after marrying to my husband, his family poses a bigger challenge as they are even more emotionally charged than me. I struggle to want to talk with them because it seems to go down in some downward spiral.
And now, I don’t think I can share it with my husband because he is struggling too. After all, it is not good to bring back the past for him because it hurts him. He said that I don’t see/acknowledge what he has done after the wedding. For example, facilitating the move out and created the boundaries so that we don’t have to sit in the same car with his parents.
While he had helped me to create the boundaries, but I wish he could stand up to Vivian and tell her off. But he didn’t because his family is broken, and I should not have high expectations that they are being able to listen as they are not as objective or even at the same level as my family.
I wish Vivian did not view me in such negative snapshots and gives that big sister advice. While I can’t correct her, but I just want to tell her how I have been misunderstood by her. Of course I wish I could tell her that the act of her protecting her brother and mother from me is hurtful because I felt the abandonment. I know she is quite bimbo and not able to process what I am saying, but at least I talk about it.
I noticed that to be free, I often have to talk to people about it. Share my point of view (of course in a non-combative manner) and let it be.
That’s me and my personality. How I overcome is meeting the transgressor and talk to them regardless of outcome.
I did the same with my mother in-law and talk with her. The talk wasn’t great, but at least I shared my thoughts and also was able to voice out that I am uncomfortable with her forcing prayer on me when in the previous time I could not push off her bulldozing mode.
I talked with my former boss when my former company had to merged back to his company.
I talked with one of the girls that I gossiped about last time.
I talked with my junior in my former office and gave her the go ahead for her to resign so that she can find for something new.
Did relationships become better overnight? No, it didn’t get better overnight because I have to live to the consequences of my actions. The only thing that became better is we soften down and just moved on.