Photo by 16personalities.com
I have done many MBTI tests since young since I am often wondered what I am. I have a few results before from INFJ to ISFJ and that was because I was very much influenced by the people around me that I do follow some of the traits of other people.
While I have varying results, I have often get back INFP and so far 16personalities.com has the most accurate version of who I am, especially when I don’t fit into my father and my mother in-law’s mold, as they are both ISTJ and they both expects me to do things their way. I have done it their way but I have not embraced my strengths but only embracing their strengths which do not benefit me.
After getting married and moving out, and also temporarily on a break from my mother in-law, here are a few things that I do think it is my strengths and weaknesses:
- I can be quite instinctive, but it has been tapered down by my father because his instincts and analysis of people is often inaccurate.
- I am pretty perceiving but often I J(Judgement) myself because both of my parents have strong J traits, which means that they are less flexible and expects a certain way to be done. According to my husband, he said my perceiving trait is very strong when I am doing my masters.
- I am a highly sensitive person. I often tried not to be sensitive or cry so much, but after reading about HSP by Elaine D. Aron, I realised that there is nothing wrong with me. While sometimes I do need to get a grip of myself and act more professional but I learnt that it is alright to be sensitive and being sensitive has helped me to be more humble and being able to apologised if I am aware that I am wrong. My father in his insensitive mode will never emphatised with me or even apologise to me since he often thinks he is correct and also to save face la.
- I can read from whatsapp messages and understand what it is needed. During my friend’s hen’s night group discussion a few months ago, a friend was planning it and was making really girly plans. While she did not mentioned the dress code, but I saw the images of what the planner put in the whatsapp group, and I have a feeling that the dress code was about dresses. When the day came, I was the only one wearing a dress with the planner and the rest were in very casual outfits. Most of my friends asked me how I knew that the dress code is wearing dresses. I told them in the messages I saw the images and the angle that could hint that it is a very girly affair. They still don’t understand how I get it, but that’s my strength — understanding from the messages and coming into conclusion.
But of courses with the strengths above comes the downsides of it:
- While instincts and gut feelings are good in making decisions that are really last minute or even life and death situations but it will be impulsive if taken to the other extreme and it will cause more harm than good.
- A highly sensitive person will take things very personally and this can immobilised them in doing work when sometimes having slightly thicker skin helps to get things done. Personally I don’t really want a really thick skin though as thick-skinned people will hurt people to get whatever they want.
- I can over-read everything and exaggerate the things that are not there.
Here are some of the parts of INFP in 16personalities.com that reflects about myself. Additional words in italics are my words:
INFPs are led by the purity of their intent, not rewards and punishments.
At their best, these qualities enable INFPs to communicate deeply with others, easily speaking in metaphors and parables, and understanding and creating symbols to share their ideas
My father often scolded for trying to show images to explain to him how to do stuff instead of using purely words.
The strength of this intuitive communication style lends itself well to creative works, and it comes as no surprise that many famous INFPs are poets, writers and actors
Yeah, ask me personally what I am doing for my dissertation. It’s something ISTJ people can’t get it.
INFPs often drift into deep thought, enjoying contemplating the hypothetical and the philosophical more than any other personality type. Left unchecked, INFPs may start to lose touch, withdrawing into “hermit mode”, and it can take a great deal of energy from their friends or partner to bring them back to the real world.
My former managers in my earlier jobs as a fresh graduate often reminds me about it.
But INFPs aren’t necessarily in a rush to commit – they are, after all, Prospecting (P) types, and are almost always looking to either establish a new relationship or improve an existing one – they need to be sure they’ve found someone compatible.
Before I got married, many people asked why am I still single. Most guys doesn’t reach my standards because they give me a lot of bullshit answers.
INFPs crave the depth of mutual human understanding, but tire easily in social situations; they are excellent at reading into others’ feelings and motivations, but are often unwilling to provide others the same insight into themselves – it’s as though INFPs like the idea of human contact, but not the reality of social contact.
That’s why some people think I am an extrovert rather than introvert. While I do think I am an ambivert, but I really do need time away from people before I start hating them.
…ideas like networking and “the friend of my friend is my friend” hold little weight with INFPs.
While networking is good to built contacts and getting jobs, but man, it drains me having to hold certain conversations to get what I want.
INFPs will always need to disappear for a while, removing themselves from others so they can re-center on their own minds and feelings. Often enough people with the INFP personality type will emerge from this time alone having come to some momentous decision that even their closest friends didn’t know was weighing on them, evading even the option of receiving the sort of support and advice they so readily give.
Well, I need to process my thoughts and emotions before getting crazy.
INFPs need to be able to work with creativity and consideration – high-pressure salespeople they are not.
Yeah, once I was forced to do a sales promoter role in my first job, and my parents saw it. They said that just because I can talk means I have to do sales. While I don’t know what I want to do with my life when I was younger but I know sales is not for me because I would not be able to hit sales target because I don’t like to force people to buy stuff that are unnecessary.
People with the INFP personality type aren’t looking for easy, forgettable work that pays the bills, they’re looking for meaningful work that they actually want to think about, and it helps for their managers to frame responsibilities in terms of emotional merit rather than cold rationalization or business for its own sake.
Once I got a job from an Australian company (but I was working from Malaysia) and while it was a senior position, but I was doing a job that even a fresh graduate doesn’t want to do, which is changing colours and fonts. Pay is really good, but I really felt like a cheap Malaysian kuli because obviously Australia more developed and atas right?
As managers, INFPs are among the least likely to seem like managers – their egalitarian attitudes lend respect to every subordinate, preferring communication as human beings than as a boss/employee opposition.
Yeahhh… I didn’t like it when my manager from the Australian company asked me to be the boss of the Malaysian team and expects me to do “disciplinary” action to people who comes late.
Ok, it’s been a lot of copy paste here. Til then, will write another post when I feel like having a brain dump.