Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash
I am dreading my dissertation work and I am very distracted today.
Here are the reasons why I am so distracted today and writing this:
- I am dreading the processing part. I am glad that I have overcome the struggles of the synthesis matrix and literature review, but I haven’t done proper synthesis of my findings.
- I am dreading that one day my panel will ask me to translate the Jawi version of Ali Baba dan Empat Puluh Penyamun.
- I was worried when my father in-law got in the way in how my husband and I deal with my parents. I am grateful my father messaged me to asked my husband and I to ignore the message that my father in-law sent. While that’s the past, I hope he doesn’t bring up again.
Here are the other problems that I am facing with my writing. While free writing helps me to get words out of my mind, but it’s not effective for me because it is too messy for my liking. Also, my biggest problem with free writing is that I fail to get the structure right before churning words. Without a structure, I can write a 1000 words essay that will be confusing for the readers.
Firstly, I find it hard to read my drafts again, and even if I do, I don’t get the main ideas out of it.
Solution: Make sure I read them aloud and ask questions about it. I also have to make sure I need to process my thoughts and not fall into “blind writing mode.”
Secondly, I find free writing not effective because I do not cite as I type. This means that I find it hard finding back my sources. When there are no citations, I feel my writing is not great. Also, citing while writing helps because I can focus my time on refining my writing.
Solution: Have my synthesis matrix, mindmaps and outlines front of me.
Thirdly, I find that I have a lot of questions and wandering thoughts which are related to my dissertation but I do not write them down fast enough.
Solution: Write a blog entry or write notes about it in another book along the way, and then refer back. If the questions are relevant, answer them and put the answers in. If not, discard it and continue writing.
Distraction about spending money
I am distracted with the things I want to buy. I want to buy nicer storage for my house, I want to buy more art materials, I want to buy that new contour stick from Miniso. With all the materials filling my mind, I also do tell myself that my husband and I have to manage our finances. I am slowly getting rid of materials slowly from my house as I realised it doesn’t spark joy in me. I am slowly moving on to the lifestyle that I like and not dictated by my mother.
My mother loves dresses, and so do I. However, I have a new found love for jumpsuits, which is a match for who I am. Whenever I wear a jumpsuit, something in me feels more confident. It is a acceptance of my occasional androgynous self. Not only that, my casual clothes are more sporty these days, due to the fact that I am walking more these days. When I had a car, I did not have to think twice about materials because my car is air-conditioned. So yes, comfort before looks, but I also make sure that my clothes looks presentable. I am glad that sport attire has gone more affordable and fits better as I can now easily pair it with my jeans and skirts.
I think I have expressed myself to the best I can today. Now to continue reading my book ‘Writing your dissertation 15 minutes a day’ and find out other tips on working.