Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash
Today I struggled to wake up in the morning.
Firstly, I was sneezing. Secondly, the thought of today is the first working week of September.
I am still so far away from my progress. I am so stricken by the deadlines. Yesterday I was stricken by my father in-law but thankfully he hasn’t been acting nonsense because he did that a few week ago and cross the line between my father, my husband and I. It doesn’t help that my younger sister in-law is very insensitive about family.
Also, while I have won a book from Dr Guy E. White, I am not sure when I will be getting it. The most important thing is to keep writing and experimenting. Of course I will prefer it if my book comes early, but it’s ok. It’s free and it means more delays than anything.
One thing though, I have been having restful sleep for the past few weeks. I do not know how to swim properly. I know how to float and swim in small bursts, but I don’t know how to coordinate my strokes with my breathing.
When I moved into my new home, I did not go swimming because I thought that I have forgotten how to swim. I actually went to the gym more often. However I tend to fall very sick after going to gyms, and I realised that the gym do get dirty after a while. I had to bring in my sanitizer just to sanitised some of the equipment.
While sanitizing works, but I don’t feel as great. True, I get a feel good boost after a gym, but I still don’t sleep well.
However it is very different with swimming. I actually felt more relaxed and I felt happier. In fact, I don’t dread swimming as much as gym. I have no problem starting, but I have a problem doing a good job or being consistent. It’s a not a problem with swimming though. I can swim 2-3 times a week and it work wonders to my mood.
Back to why I struggle to wake up. I am also worried about future finances. My husband is out of a job and as much as he has been applying for jobs, but the job market is changing and Malaysia is still stuck in the outdated mode of hiring. I was thinking of going back into freelancing though it might affect my studies.
I am also paying for some courses online to improve myself. I hope to eventually get back to creating my portfolios so I can get some jobs along the way. Sometimes I wonder if I am paying too much for job improvements especially when I see my husband not paying for any of these improvements for his life.
Oh well. Whatever that works.