Photo by Alisa Anton on Unsplash
After my trip to Ilham Gallery yesterday, my husband said one day we have to bring Aunt M when she is back in Malaysia.
I was incredulous and exclaimed, “But if you bring her, you have to bring the rest of the family (who are judgemental).”
Family Background
Before I proceed further, let me give some background to my husband’s extended family. My husband’s eldest uncle (an Asian) married Aunt M, an Australian British. My husband’s eldest uncle and the rest of the siblings, which includes my mother in-law play hierarchy a lot.
What does playing hierarchy affects me? Firstly, they revered people who are in traditional job scopes such as doctors and accountants. Secondly, they placed very unrealistic expectations of me to understand the whole family dynamics when I have not met some of them before.
It sucks because being a designer/art person, I am already considered the lowest of their hierarchy and also I am not the esteemed Hokkien like them. My parents are comes from the minority Chinese clans in Malaysia.
Despite of the negative treatment from them, Aunt M was different. When my husband’s eldest uncle glared at me the day after the wedding when I did not know how to address him, his wife Aunt M came to my rescue in a most unassuming way. In her gentle ways, she came up to me and spoke to me, asking me about my rings, and the eldest uncle for all his alpha traits, he actually took cues from her.
Memories of Aunt M
While I thought I won’t meet them again since they are based in Australia, they came back to Malaysia a year after my wedding and I had a short conversation with Aunt M.
She asked me what I was doing, and I told her I was doing Masters in Visual Arts and gave a brief explanation of my course. When I told her that, she asked, “Do you mean that you will one day work in a museum?”
Wow. She is the only one that know what I am doing. I guess it is due to her European background where museums are part of the culture.
Whenever Asians asked me about what I do, I actually have to explain quite a bit, especially with these questions?
- What are you going to do?
- Hah, got such things in Malaysia?
- Got future meh?
Oh well. Whatever.
Anyway, just a short to get it out of my head.