Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Psalms 23:1-3 ESV
Psalm 23 is the passage for today’s Lent. Growing up as a second generation Christian and with a cosmopolitan, I have read this passage many times. My Children Church teachers often taught how God is our protector and our guide through Psalms 23. I even tried to resonate with the verses, but I could not relate to it.
I still remember a preacher in the Church spoke about this chapter. He said that we should think in the context of where David was in the bible. King David was based in Israel, which was mostly a desert, and seeing green grass was something beautiful. As for me, I did not like Malaysian grass because Malaysian grass tends to wilt in our hot and humid weather. Not only that, living in the city means that the greens are not green anyway. We can talk about eco-friendly buildings and sustainability, but it is a pathetic attempt at replenishing the greens after destroying them.
I was in the deepest of my struggles in 2018 when one of my supervisors gave honest feedback about my work. My father’s actions further compounded the feedback from my supervisors.
My father will accuse me of the mistakes of other people. One of the incidents that I remembered last year was my father’s surgery. When the hospital called him and told him he did not pay for the biopsy needle, the first thing he asked caustically was, “You did not pay for the needle?”
I was so hurt. It was the hospital staff’s mistake for telling me the wrong price but instead, he accused me
He applied the same caustic remarks a few months later when I told him I had to extend my semester. Instead of asking me why I had to extend my semester, he accused me of not doing anything.
I wished my father knew how to asked clarifying questions rather than accusing me. I wouldn’t have gone done to such depression and anxiety if he had asked me what when wrong instead of saying that I am wrong.
While I continued researching quietly, but I wanted a break badly. My husband decided that we should go to Clearwater Sanctuary.
I did not know what to expect since my husband did tell me that the place is not as well maintained unlike in the past. He did tell me if I did not like this place, we can check out of the hotel and go to another hotel.
When we went there in November 2018, I liked that place a lot. It is true that some of the facilities are dilapidated, but the resort is beautiful and tranquil. It is facing the lake with lots of greens. The still waters and the greenery is as described in Psalms 23 and I was invigorated for the few days I was there. Finally, I could
After the short break, I came back to the city and I was surrounded
Now I understand why the artist I interviewed like being in the small town. He was originally a city boy but he prefers being in a small town away from all the drama of the city. I am still talking about Clearwater Sanctuary, and always yearn to go back to the silence and tranquility.
For now, I have to go through city life, but I really do hope to reach my end goal and graduate. While it’s dreary, I do hope I can go back to the small town again and be rejuvenated one more like the Shepard leading me to still waters and green grass.