Photo by Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash
I haven’t revisited this book for awhile, but today this section is going to be more personal. It’s for me to list down things to grieve.
In one of the sections for the book, it talk about grieving for the things we have lost. If we didn’t grieve for the things we have lost, we still be emotionally unhealthy and have unhealthy unexpectations.
One of the things I have to grieve is the lost of love from my mother in-law.
I grieve that she was not the person she was in the 90s, where she was such a strong and capable women and such an inspiration to her children.
I grieve that she lost her memories and suspected dementia.
I grieve that she treated me as a point of competition for her son’s affection.
I grieve that she did not love me but always putting me down.
I grieve that there were no good memories build between us because most of the time was spent trying to downplay me and control every expenses of mine.
I grieve that I will never match up to her because I am the lowest of the hierarchy.
I grieve that I can’t expect decent conversations with my husband’s sisters because of my anger, and they will side my mother in-law even if she is in the wrong.